Breakups and dealing with them…

So a really good friend just went through a really tough break-up and after a weekend of crying, second guessing herself, smelling his sweatshirt and crying gut wrenching sobs and all those break-up cliches later we decided she had to get a hold of herself and move on.

I mean if the tosser couldn’t give two gobs about her (cheat on her till the cows and their calves and the grand calves came home then why waste her breath?), why should she mope about singing Bryan Adams and Celine Dion, whilst stuffing her face with tubs of icecream?

That’s when we decided to seek advice from aunty Internet- (in our emaciated state we concluded that internet was a woman as she provided information for everything and multitasked really well) on how to help her move on.

So being a good (actually amazing!!!) friend i decided to help her through this catastrophe. We would pick the tips and try see if they would help.

Starting off with no 1-

  • Physical activity is a great way to release inner tension. The mind and body are intertwined, and the state of one can influence the other. Physical activities can range from aerobic exercise, weightlifting, team sports, jogging and even dancing. Finding a physical activity that suits you is the key.

We decided to go for a yoga class to cleanse and detoxify, followed by an aerobics class and then swimming.

How putting yourself through that pain is helpful beats me? Through breathing through my base chakra whilst stretching in the rubber-band pose, we realised it’s funner to eat junk food on the treadmill. talk about multitasking!

So we skipped aerobics and ended up getting sloshed by the pool as we b****** and moaned about Loser no 1.

2) Be balanced in your assessments of yourself, your former partner and the relationship.

What nonsense! Balanced while judging Loser no 1? HA! Sure she was an idiot for letting such gobshite into her life but even Mother T made mistakes in her time-and he was an even bigger gobshite for letting her go right?

Another round of Daquiris bartender and a huge plate of chips please!

Being reasonable with your Ex can be quite therapeutic.

We chortle in disbelief at this nonsense!Sure getting your power back is great but honestlybeing reasonable?

It’s more fun egging his car isn’t it?

Surround yourself with positivity.

Inspirational friends, good music, motivating movies and fun activities are all elements that will help you keep a healthy state of mind amidst the hurt and pain. Being positive doesn’t mean pretending as if nothing is wrong, but it will prevent you from a downward spiral of depression.

Ok this one kinda worked. we didn’t have pizza the whole weekend, watched the secret and deleted his phone number… and then we pigged out on a bag of crisps as we bawled our eyes out whilst watching Titanic-seriously how selfish was Rose-could she not share the plank with gorgeous Jack? Imagine how awesome their kid’s hair would be? We also deduced their kid would have looked like Justin Bieber…

“Laughter is good medicine!”

Oh yeah-especially as you TP his car, delete his facebook account and use up all his credit on his phone!

Be decisive and avoid going in psychological circles.

Easy for you to say she retorted as she picked up her phone to beg him back, then hung up, then missed him and then delted his no all together!


Break ups are hard especially when you love someone so deeply and it will take more than a week or a month to move on- don’t hate yourself for that. Think of the break-up and relatiopnship as a lesson you had to learn to get to mr, mrs, miss, miz right!

We found out makeovers, massages, mani pedis and dancing the night away really helped as well and giggling over ‘Outsourced’ and singing along to ‘Glee’ worked wonders too.

Either way Loser No 1 didn’t deserve S and life would be much better without him and his ego.




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